As a future grandparent, I too ache. She had closer friends who I imagined would be bringing her lasagna and soup and such, and be there physically. Teri Would you like to come over for some coffee sometime and talk about it?” Or “My heart breaks for you. Here are some expressions you can use to console any bereaved spouse: Love endures all time whether good or bad. I got to the point where I started asking people which one of their children they would volunteer to send to that “better place”. <3. The friends I lived with would give me space in the mornings, and then around lunch come knocking that we were going for lunch so I better get dressed. Sometimes, even if it is very hard to turn a page of your life because it’s too heavy, you still have to turn it because you have to move on. Thank you for sharing this with us since it’s a really good thing for us all to keep in mind. Organize meals or other services i.e. Thank you, Marie. It made it so much worse – it made me withdraw bc I felt like a burden when they did this. But seriously your comment carries a presence that is very comforting! I think I was pretty good when she first told me about it, I said all the things above, I’m here for you, that sucks, sorry, what can I do to help… I lost my mom 4 years ago. I called her Christmas Eve because that evening was the annual party we all go to. Unfortunately, many people are not prepped in the proper words to say, so this is something more people should share. The nurse’s comments were definitely insensitive—minimizing your experience and spinning the situation to be all about her. We brought dinner to them when they got home. You just be honest and keep showing up, long after society says they should be “over it.”. My life is full with activities that I enjoy and I have five wonderful grandchildren that keep me going. I met an amazing soulful woman from Mass. We absolutely wouldn’t suggest that any list of “do’s and don’ts” is perfect, as it can depend so much on the individuals and the situation. My mum friend who is raising 4 toddlers (triplets) on her own, and another on the other side of the world raising 4 children, stealing minutes to check in before she goes to bed each night. Every once in awhile, a friend would bring up my friend who’d passed and ask how I was doing. Very poignant. I don’t really know what he thought, felt or did I just hope it helped. I’m glad to hear your nephew is doing well at this time! I think we’ve all said the wrong thing at one point or another, so try not to be too hard on yourself. Sometimes grief comes with this feeling of being a heavy burden on everybody else. Kathryn, I’m so sorry to hear you were so isolated after losing your beloved. I am always silent in these grieving situations. Of course some things are better said than others, but you can’t prescribe a list of what to say and what not to say. When one looses a loved one through death, the normal thing is that people come to mourn with you, in a divorce, it is not unusual for people to gather and mourn with you. And go easy on yourself and expectations of others. It’s good to see perspectives from all angles about what to say and not to say to people who ARE going through a difficult time in their life. But I imagine the pain like an earth quake scale. DON’T feel too sorry for them, most people do, and it is a very disempowering feeling. I have a friend recently diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. be strong enough to let me cry in front of you. But that’s understandable, because most of us haven’t been taught what to say when someone dies or suffers a loss. Whether it is bouts of laughter or being abrupt, the grieving individual is processing in the best way they can. This video will help me not make the same mistake and Im gratefull for that They also came by to see me and see if I wanted to talk, they would be there. I’m curious about if you have position openings at your company? As Marie said, let them know you are there for them. It’s a time when actions can really speak louder than words. Comfort them by offering to help and by being there. For years, when my son's birthday would come around I'd long to show people his photos, to tell them his brief story, to have someone cry a little with me. That distinction between doing and being is important. *Don’t pretend you haven’t heard through the grapevine. I was catatonic with pain and disbelief. I truly hope you have the support you need right now also. Peace with the part about sharing stories with another who is grieving can lead them to invite me for or. My first child. ) were many special people that I will be helpful as I into. Loved one ’ s a really good point, Mandie of incredible souls come here each week for insight inspiration! Ts to some small family-run gift and paper shops and asked specifically Emily McDowell and. 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